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Tesla's Rogue Rodeo: When "Full Self-Driving" Means Full-On Traffic Tango with the Grim Reaper Mr Shri Thanedar: Just Who Do You Think You Are, Bud? That's an American Female, Kristi Noem, You're Mistreating There, Pal YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT THIS WOMAN SAYS AT AOC'S TOWN HALL MEETING Maxine Waters: 86-Year-Old Conspiracy Theorist Queen Screaming “Killer Trump” While Her District Drowns in Fentanyl and Filth STRUCTURE FIRE HAPPENS [DISPATCH CLAIMS IS NOT NEWSWORTHY] Amy Klobuchar: Minnesota Nice or Senate Ice? PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: CHANCE TRAHAN [2020 ELECTION AFTERMATH] In A Savage Move, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt Delivers Ultra Savage Takedown of Negatively Biased Reporter in Brady Room Press Briefing NPR's Subsidy Funeral Pyre: Smug Liberals Get Their Bubbles Popped, Pledge Drive Panic Attacks, and Tote-Bag Grift Reality OCASIO SHAKES HER POMPOMS [FOR FAKE NEWS PROPAGANDA] Tesla's Rogue Rodeo: When "Full Self-Driving" Means Full-On Traffic Tango with the Grim Reaper Mr Shri Thanedar: Just Who Do You Think You Are, Bud? That's an American Female, Kristi Noem, You're Mistreating There, Pal YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT THIS WOMAN SAYS AT AOC'S TOWN HALL MEETING Maxine Waters: 86-Year-Old Conspiracy Theorist Queen Screaming “Killer Trump” While Her District Drowns in Fentanyl and Filth STRUCTURE FIRE HAPPENS [DISPATCH CLAIMS IS NOT NEWSWORTHY] Amy Klobuchar: Minnesota Nice or Senate Ice? PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: CHANCE TRAHAN [2020 ELECTION AFTERMATH] In A Savage Move, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt Delivers Ultra Savage Takedown of Negatively Biased Reporter in Brady Room Press Briefing NPR's Subsidy Funeral Pyre: Smug Liberals Get Their Bubbles Popped, Pledge Drive Panic Attacks, and Tote-Bag Grift Reality OCASIO SHAKES HER POMPOMS [FOR FAKE NEWS PROPAGANDA]

The Funnies Forge

Delivery Driver Diaries • Shift Happens • May 04, 2026
Delivery Driver Diaries • Shift Happens
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Squeal or No Squeal • Valentine's Massacre Edition • May 2, 2026
Squeal or No Squeal • Valentine's Massacre Edition
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Merica Says • Yeehaw or Bust • May 1, 2026
Merica Says • Yeehaw or Bust
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Gentile Semite • Shabbos Shenanigans • April 18, 2026
Gentile Semite • Shabbos Shenanigans
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About

Born in Alaska. Built to fight the machine. The full story.

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Editor

Chance Trahan — Editor-in-Chief & host of Sheriff Says.

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Sheriff Says Podcast

Raw, unfiltered truth bombs. No corporate spin. Ever.

Frontline Dispatches

Biblical Archaeology, Ancient Mysteries, Noah's Ark Legends
Ancient Discovery in Turkey: Researchers Uncover What May Be Noah’s Ark and Its Sealed Mysteries May 6, 2026

Ancient Discovery in Turkey: Researchers Uncover What May Be Noah’s Ark and Its Sealed Mysteries

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Criminal Justice, Legal Inequality, Government Overreach
The Scales of Justice: How the Court System Is Engineered Against Ordinary Everyday Civilians May 6, 2026

The Scales of Justice: How the Court System Is Engineered Against Ordinary Everyday Civilians

READ THE FULL DISPATCH →
Religion, Ancient Texts, Spirituality
Questioning God's Existence: Ancient Visions, Layered Heavens, and the Stories That We Have to Go On May 4, 2026

Questioning God's Existence: Ancient Visions, Layered Heavens, and the Stories That We Have to Go On

READ THE FULL DISPATCH →
Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, Artificial Intelligence
The Invisible Siege: Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, and AI in the Battle Over Your Precious Little Human Mind May 3, 2026

The Invisible Siege: Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, and AI in the Battle Over Your Precious Little Human Mind

READ THE FULL DISPATCH →
Conspiracy Theories, Targeted Individuals, Reptilian Agenda
My Son Bred as Fake Jesus Vessel: Targeted Mom Exposes Draco Reptilian Extermination Plot & False Savior Script Apr 27, 2026

My Son Bred as Fake Jesus Vessel: Targeted Mom Exposes Draco Reptilian Extermination Plot & False Savior Script

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Targeted Individuals, Generational Satanism, Energy Harvesting
It's Always The Ones Closest To You: Understanding Handlers, Energy Harvesting, and Family Gaslighting Patterns Apr 24, 2026

It's Always The Ones Closest To You: Understanding Handlers, Energy Harvesting, and Family Gaslighting Patterns

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→ See every dispatch in the archive

Chance Trahan

From the Desk of Chance Trahan

Editor-in-Chief • Alaskan Capital News

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