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JUSSIE SMOLLETT IS [HIS OWN BIGGEST HATER] Call of Duty Cheaters, You’re Done: 800,000 Bans Prove That You’re Gaming’s Most Pathetic Losers of the Whole Entire Funky Bunch UNSPEAKABLE ACTS RESEARCH [CENTER FOR THE MENTALLY INSANE] Enter Ricardo Lara: California's Jet-Setting Insurance "Guardian" Catastrophe Who Left Homeowners High and Dry (Literally) The Great Inflation of the States: Red States Offer Less Burden—While Blue States Offer an Unbearably Hefty Cost of Living End-Times Speculatory Guide: Who Could Be the Antichrist in 2026? Our Full Meme-Ranked Breakdown Unraveling the Mysteries of the Skull and Bones Organization: From Yale's Secret Society to Modern Conspiracy Theories ROCK CLIMBING [IS THE DEVIL] OVER 2,200 [FETUS REMAINS FOUND] I AM SO SICK OF THE NIGHTMARE [AND TWITTER] JUSSIE SMOLLETT IS [HIS OWN BIGGEST HATER] Call of Duty Cheaters, You’re Done: 800,000 Bans Prove That You’re Gaming’s Most Pathetic Losers of the Whole Entire Funky Bunch UNSPEAKABLE ACTS RESEARCH [CENTER FOR THE MENTALLY INSANE] Enter Ricardo Lara: California's Jet-Setting Insurance "Guardian" Catastrophe Who Left Homeowners High and Dry (Literally) The Great Inflation of the States: Red States Offer Less Burden—While Blue States Offer an Unbearably Hefty Cost of Living End-Times Speculatory Guide: Who Could Be the Antichrist in 2026? Our Full Meme-Ranked Breakdown Unraveling the Mysteries of the Skull and Bones Organization: From Yale's Secret Society to Modern Conspiracy Theories ROCK CLIMBING [IS THE DEVIL] OVER 2,200 [FETUS REMAINS FOUND] I AM SO SICK OF THE NIGHTMARE [AND TWITTER]

The Funnies
Pentagon Shenans • Granite Panic
July 02, 2026
Pentagon Shenans • Granite Panic
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Alligator Hunters • On Da Bayou
June 26, 2026
Alligator Hunters • On Da Bayou
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Sufferin Psychic • Ghost of Earl
June 5, 2026
Sufferin Psychic • Ghost of Earl
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Wackass • Flippin Flare
June 1, 2026
Wackass • Flippin Flare
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Pentagon Shenans • The China Room
May 29, 2026
Pentagon Shenans • The China Room
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Gai • Hot Delivery
May 26, 2026
Gai • Hot Delivery
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About

Born in Alaska. Built to fight the machine. The full story.

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Editor

Chance Trahan — Editor-in-Chief & host of Sheriff Says.

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Dynamic Meme Generator. User-generated weaponry against the elites.

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Comics, illustrations & designs straight from the Sheriff’s desk.

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Sheriff Says Podcast

Raw, unfiltered truth bombs. No corporate spin. Ever.

Frontline Dispatches
Consumer Rights, Gaming Industry, Customer Service
PlayStation's $12 Refund Ordeal: When Customer Support Feels Like Absolutely Maddening Endurance Tests Jul 2, 2026

PlayStation's $12 Refund Ordeal: When Customer Support Feels Like Absolutely Maddening Endurance Tests

READ THE FULL DISPATCH →
Social Media Drama, Political Outrage, White House Renovations
The Golden Eagle Tantrum That Ended in Granite and "Go F*ck Yourself": A Social Media Masterclass in Absolute Ownage Jul 1, 2026

The Golden Eagle Tantrum That Ended in Granite and "Go F*ck Yourself": A Social Media Masterclass in Absolute Ownage

READ THE FULL DISPATCH →
Conspiracy Theory, Ancient Sumerian Mythology, Hidden History
The US Invasion of Iraq: Alleged Ancient Technology, Gilgamesh, and the Hidden Reason? Jun 28, 2026

The US Invasion of Iraq: Alleged Ancient Technology, Gilgamesh, and the Hidden Reason?

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Sports, Football, Fallen Angels
Confidential Investigative Report: What If Actual Fallen Angels Are Players in the United States NFL? Jun 24, 2026

Confidential Investigative Report: What If Actual Fallen Angels Are Players in the United States NFL?

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Paranormal Phenomena, Government Disclosure, Interdimensional
Pentagon's Latest UFO Files Reveal 'Choking Ghost' – Witnesses Claim Demonic Hybrid Phenomenon Jun 20, 2026

Pentagon's Latest UFO Files Reveal 'Choking Ghost' – Witnesses Claim Demonic Hybrid Phenomenon

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Christian Prophecy, UFO Deception, End Times
Biblical Perspectives on 2026: End-Times Speculation, UFO Deception, and Prophetic Words for the Year Jun 20, 2026

Biblical Perspectives on 2026: End-Times Speculation, UFO Deception, and Prophetic Words for the Year

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Labor Trafficking, Canadian Crime, Social Issues
Labor Trafficking on the Rise in Canada's Prairies: Hidden Exploitation in Everyday Industries Jun 18, 2026

Labor Trafficking on the Rise in Canada's Prairies: Hidden Exploitation in Everyday Industries

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Longevity Research, Elite Transhumanism, Epstein Conspiracy
The Hidden Quest for Immortality: Young Blood, Tech Elites, and Epstein's Secrets Jun 17, 2026

The Hidden Quest for Immortality: Young Blood, Tech Elites, and Epstein's Secrets

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→ See every dispatch in the archive

Chance Trahan

From the Desk of Chance Trahan

Editor-in-Chief • Alaskan Capital News

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