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Enter the Magazine Latest News
Ancient Biblical Beasts? Theories Link Leviathan and Behemoth to Devil's Tower and Mount Rushmore And So It Begins Again—Space Cadet Mark Kelly Frantically Sues Pete Hegseth in a Total Last Ditch Effort Just to Save His Rank and Pension Don Lemon's Massively Stupid Church Stunt: From "Journalist" to Jizzy Jailbird – Plus the Hilarious Hypocrisy of His Defenders The Boomer in Office Strikes Again: Chuck Schumer’s Hypocrisy Reaches New Heights—He Started the Endless Wars He Now Condemns Elizabeth Warren’s Latest MAGA Meltdown Tantrum: When “Tax Breaks” Become “Handing Billionaires YOUR Money” According to Warren POPPING OFF FIREWORKS [LIKE A DUSTHOLE] Stephen Miller's Protester BBQ: DC's Hottest Ticket Since the Last Alien Invasion JUNEAU POLICE DEPARTMENT SARGE LIES [TO A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE] The Eternal Echo: Decoding Ancient Wisdom in the Emerald Tablets, Sumerian Tablets, and Nag Hammadi Codices The All New CBP Home App: Self-Deport, Snag Your Grand, and Ghost the Border Like a Boss. Why Wait? Deport Today! Ancient Biblical Beasts? Theories Link Leviathan and Behemoth to Devil's Tower and Mount Rushmore And So It Begins Again—Space Cadet Mark Kelly Frantically Sues Pete Hegseth in a Total Last Ditch Effort Just to Save His Rank and Pension Don Lemon's Massively Stupid Church Stunt: From "Journalist" to Jizzy Jailbird – Plus the Hilarious Hypocrisy of His Defenders The Boomer in Office Strikes Again: Chuck Schumer’s Hypocrisy Reaches New Heights—He Started the Endless Wars He Now Condemns Elizabeth Warren’s Latest MAGA Meltdown Tantrum: When “Tax Breaks” Become “Handing Billionaires YOUR Money” According to Warren POPPING OFF FIREWORKS [LIKE A DUSTHOLE] Stephen Miller's Protester BBQ: DC's Hottest Ticket Since the Last Alien Invasion JUNEAU POLICE DEPARTMENT SARGE LIES [TO A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE] The Eternal Echo: Decoding Ancient Wisdom in the Emerald Tablets, Sumerian Tablets, and Nag Hammadi Codices The All New CBP Home App: Self-Deport, Snag Your Grand, and Ghost the Border Like a Boss. Why Wait? Deport Today!

The Funnies
Snider the Cat • The Echo of Arrogance • May 12, 2026
Snider the Cat • The Echo of Arrogance
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Avatard • Rocket Schit • May 11, 2026
Avatard • Rocket Schit
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Hairy Flinger • Confession Carnage • May 9, 2026
Hairy Flinger • Confession Carnage
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Schmidiotest • Homophone Havoc • May 8, 2026
Schmidiotest • Homophone Havoc
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About

Born in Alaska. Built to fight the machine. The full story.

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Chance Trahan — Editor-in-Chief & host of Sheriff Says.

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Frontline Dispatches
Ancient Mysteries, Esoteric Wisdom, Comparative Mythology
The Eternal Echo: Decoding Ancient Wisdom in the Emerald Tablets, Sumerian Tablets, and Nag Hammadi Codices May 11, 2026

The Eternal Echo: Decoding Ancient Wisdom in the Emerald Tablets, Sumerian Tablets, and Nag Hammadi Codices

READ THE FULL DISPATCH →
Biblical Archaeology, Ancient Mysteries, Noah's Ark Legends
Ancient Discovery in Turkey: Researchers Uncover What May Be Noah’s Ark and Its Sealed Mysteries May 6, 2026

Ancient Discovery in Turkey: Researchers Uncover What May Be Noah’s Ark and Its Sealed Mysteries

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Criminal Justice, Legal Inequality, Government Overreach
The Scales of Justice: How the Court System Is Engineered Against Ordinary Everyday Civilians May 6, 2026

The Scales of Justice: How the Court System Is Engineered Against Ordinary Everyday Civilians

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Religion, Ancient Texts, Spirituality
Questioning God's Existence: Ancient Visions, Layered Heavens, and the Stories That We Have to Go On May 4, 2026

Questioning God's Existence: Ancient Visions, Layered Heavens, and the Stories That We Have to Go On

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Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, Artificial Intelligence
The Invisible Siege: Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, and AI in the Battle Over Your Precious Little Human Mind May 3, 2026

The Invisible Siege: Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, and AI in the Battle Over Your Precious Little Human Mind

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Conspiracy Theories, Targeted Individuals, Reptilian Agenda
My Son Bred as Fake Jesus Vessel: Targeted Mom Exposes Draco Reptilian Extermination Plot & False Savior Script Apr 27, 2026

My Son Bred as Fake Jesus Vessel: Targeted Mom Exposes Draco Reptilian Extermination Plot & False Savior Script

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→ See every dispatch in the archive

Chance Trahan

From the Desk of Chance Trahan

Editor-in-Chief • Alaskan Capital News

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