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Enter the Magazine Latest News
Tears in the Rain: Adam Schiff's Soaked Meltdown Marks the Democrats' Latest Surrender in the War for America Puck in the Crack: Ovechkin's Milestone Souvenir Takes a Wild and Cheeky Detour No One Ever Expected THIS IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG [OH, THERE'S MUCH MORE TO HER] President Trahan's Bold State of the Union: A Rallying Cry Against Corruption and Call for True Freedom Antifa Takes the L: Cops Snatch the Whole Squat Palace and Dash With the Loot While Laughing Like Maniacs The Miami "Zombie" Attack: A Case Study in Media Sensationalism and Political Distraction Theories Chuck Schumer’s Boomer Schmuck Float Parade on Full Blast: Plans to Host a Viewing Party and He's Calling it Boom-Boom in Paradise United States Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent Burns The Entire House Down Around Gavin Newsom in This Epic Viral Clip Straight Out of Davos The Boomer in Office Strikes Again: Chuck Schumer’s Hypocrisy Reaches New Heights—He Started the Endless Wars He Now Condemns Black Ops 7 vs. Battlefield 6: Hype, Hypocrisy, and the Hard Truths from a Veteran of Both Frontlines Tears in the Rain: Adam Schiff's Soaked Meltdown Marks the Democrats' Latest Surrender in the War for America Puck in the Crack: Ovechkin's Milestone Souvenir Takes a Wild and Cheeky Detour No One Ever Expected THIS IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG [OH, THERE'S MUCH MORE TO HER] President Trahan's Bold State of the Union: A Rallying Cry Against Corruption and Call for True Freedom Antifa Takes the L: Cops Snatch the Whole Squat Palace and Dash With the Loot While Laughing Like Maniacs The Miami "Zombie" Attack: A Case Study in Media Sensationalism and Political Distraction Theories Chuck Schumer’s Boomer Schmuck Float Parade on Full Blast: Plans to Host a Viewing Party and He's Calling it Boom-Boom in Paradise United States Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent Burns The Entire House Down Around Gavin Newsom in This Epic Viral Clip Straight Out of Davos The Boomer in Office Strikes Again: Chuck Schumer’s Hypocrisy Reaches New Heights—He Started the Endless Wars He Now Condemns Black Ops 7 vs. Battlefield 6: Hype, Hypocrisy, and the Hard Truths from a Veteran of Both Frontlines

The Funnies
Lil Lucifer • Hallway Rebellion • May 19, 2026
Lil Lucifer • Hallway Rebellion
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Dirty Cop • Captain's Meltdown • May 18, 2026
Dirty Cop • Captain's Meltdown
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Snider the Cat • The Echo of Arrogance • May 12, 2026
Snider the Cat • The Echo of Arrogance
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Avatard • Rocket Schit • May 11, 2026
Avatard • Rocket Schit
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About

Born in Alaska. Built to fight the machine. The full story.

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Chance Trahan — Editor-in-Chief & host of Sheriff Says.

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Frontline Dispatches
Ancient Mysteries, Book of Enoch, Fallen Angels
The Cursed Sirens of the Fallen Watcher Angels: Chorus Echoes from the Pre-Flood Rebellion May 21, 2026

The Cursed Sirens of the Fallen Watcher Angels: Chorus Echoes from the Pre-Flood Rebellion

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Biblical Prophecy, Reptilian Conspiracy, Serpent Seed Doctrine
Genesis 3:15 — The Bible’s Bombshell Exposé of the Reptilian Seed War That’s Still Raging Today May 21, 2026

Genesis 3:15 — The Bible’s Bombshell Exposé of the Reptilian Seed War That’s Still Raging Today

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Ancient Jewish Apocrypha, Fallen Angels, Biblical Mythology
The Watchers: Fallen Angels, Nephilim Giants, and the Corruption of Humanity in the Book of Enoch May 19, 2026

The Watchers: Fallen Angels, Nephilim Giants, and the Corruption of Humanity in the Book of Enoch

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Conspiracy Speculations, Reptilian Humanoids, Mortal Kombat Lore
Exploring Tarkatan Hypothesis: Does Baraka's Race from Mortal Kombat Reveal Hidden Humanoid Lineage? May 18, 2026

Exploring Tarkatan Hypothesis: Does Baraka's Race from Mortal Kombat Reveal Hidden Humanoid Lineage?

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Ancient Mysteries, Esoteric Wisdom, Comparative Mythology
The Eternal Echo: Decoding Ancient Wisdom in the Emerald Tablets, Sumerian Tablets, and Nag Hammadi Codices May 11, 2026

The Eternal Echo: Decoding Ancient Wisdom in the Emerald Tablets, Sumerian Tablets, and Nag Hammadi Codices

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Biblical Archaeology, Ancient Mysteries, Noah's Ark Legends
Ancient Discovery in Turkey: Researchers Uncover What May Be Noah’s Ark and Its Sealed Mysteries May 6, 2026

Ancient Discovery in Turkey: Researchers Uncover What May Be Noah’s Ark and Its Sealed Mysteries

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→ See every dispatch in the archive

Chance Trahan

From the Desk of Chance Trahan

Editor-in-Chief • Alaskan Capital News

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