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OP Schitztorm: Flanking the Phonies – A No-Holds-Barred Blitz on the Cheater-Ridden Wastelands of Call of Duty & Battlefield Enter Ricardo Lara: California's Jet-Setting Insurance "Guardian" Catastrophe Who Left Homeowners High and Dry (Literally) The Wacky World of Elizabeth Warren: A Scandal-Filled Romp Through Time California Flood and Fire: Good Ole Garbage Gavin Newsom’s Shameless Reign of Ludicrous Inconsistency and Incessant Begging Gavin Newsom's Meme Mishap: A Swing and a Miss at JD Vance Exposed: The Arrest and Execution of Justin Bieber in the Worldwide Operation Against Crimes Against Humanity THE REPORT [THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING] Hegseth Nails It: Space Cadet Mark Kelly's Mutiny Memo Got Absolutely Shredded – And the Judge Missed the Entire Punchline USA Today Discovers Trump's Secret $3 Million Check to the Jan 6 Riot Fairy – Pulitzer Incoming! The Great Cinematic Galactic Chokehold: Mark Kelly Faces Pete Hegseth’s Incoming Elevating Iron Grip of Escalating MAGA Doom OP Schitztorm: Flanking the Phonies – A No-Holds-Barred Blitz on the Cheater-Ridden Wastelands of Call of Duty & Battlefield Enter Ricardo Lara: California's Jet-Setting Insurance "Guardian" Catastrophe Who Left Homeowners High and Dry (Literally) The Wacky World of Elizabeth Warren: A Scandal-Filled Romp Through Time California Flood and Fire: Good Ole Garbage Gavin Newsom’s Shameless Reign of Ludicrous Inconsistency and Incessant Begging Gavin Newsom's Meme Mishap: A Swing and a Miss at JD Vance Exposed: The Arrest and Execution of Justin Bieber in the Worldwide Operation Against Crimes Against Humanity THE REPORT [THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING] Hegseth Nails It: Space Cadet Mark Kelly's Mutiny Memo Got Absolutely Shredded – And the Judge Missed the Entire Punchline USA Today Discovers Trump's Secret $3 Million Check to the Jan 6 Riot Fairy – Pulitzer Incoming! The Great Cinematic Galactic Chokehold: Mark Kelly Faces Pete Hegseth’s Incoming Elevating Iron Grip of Escalating MAGA Doom

The Funnies Forge

Squeal or No Squeal • Valentine's Massacre Edition • May 2, 2026
Squeal or No Squeal • Valentine's Massacre Edition
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Merica Says • Yeehaw or Bust • May 1, 2026
Merica Says • Yeehaw or Bust
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Gentile Semite • Shabbos Shenanigans • April 18, 2026
Gentile Semite • Shabbos Shenanigans
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Pentagon Shenans • The Leak King • April 07, 2026
Pentagon Shenans • The Leak King
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About

Born in Alaska. Built to fight the machine. The full story.

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Editor

Chance Trahan — Editor-in-Chief & host of Sheriff Says.

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Sheriff Says Podcast

Raw, unfiltered truth bombs. No corporate spin. Ever.

Frontline Dispatches

Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, Artificial Intelligence
The Invisible Siege: Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, and AI in the Battle Over Your Precious Little Human Mind May 3, 2026

The Invisible Siege: Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, and AI in the Battle Over Your Precious Little Human Mind

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Conspiracy Theories, Targeted Individuals, Reptilian Agenda
My Son Bred as Fake Jesus Vessel: Targeted Mom Exposes Draco Reptilian Extermination Plot & False Savior Script Apr 27, 2026

My Son Bred as Fake Jesus Vessel: Targeted Mom Exposes Draco Reptilian Extermination Plot & False Savior Script

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Targeted Individuals, Generational Satanism, Energy Harvesting
It's Always The Ones Closest To You: Understanding Handlers, Energy Harvesting, and Family Gaslighting Patterns Apr 24, 2026

It's Always The Ones Closest To You: Understanding Handlers, Energy Harvesting, and Family Gaslighting Patterns

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Spiritual Awakening, Inner Divinity, Suppressed History
The Inner Divine Power and the Buried Truth: Yahusha's Oneness, Giants, Dragons, and the Mud Flood Reset Apr 23, 2026

The Inner Divine Power and the Buried Truth: Yahusha's Oneness, Giants, Dragons, and the Mud Flood Reset

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Biblical Prophecy, Fallen Angels & Watchers, End-Times Awakening
The Case of the Fallen Angels: From the Ancient Biblical Rebellion to Stern End-Times Warnings Apr 21, 2026

The Case of the Fallen Angels: From the Ancient Biblical Rebellion to Stern End-Times Warnings

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Celebrity Culture, Occult Symbolism, Spiritual Warnings
The Hidden Toll of Stardom: Celebrities Open Up About Soul-Selling Deals and the Sacrifices That Came With Fame Apr 18, 2026

The Hidden Toll of Stardom: Celebrities Open Up About Soul-Selling Deals and the Sacrifices That Came With Fame

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→ See every dispatch in the archive

Chance Trahan

From the Desk of Chance Trahan

Editor-in-Chief • Alaskan Capital News

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