Welcome to Gossip! Where we air out the skid marks of love and call it free entertainment… Tonight’s Draw-er: Austin, he's 27 and from Tampa Bay. He's hunting for a woman who can handle his baggage. Austin, meet your suitors!

First drawer… Girls. Top secret! Brooke, yank it!

Oh, Brooke.

I did that on purpose.

Sure you did. Do you want to just read it?

(crosses her arms) No.

Jeeze.

Well, just hold it up for me.

(frumps) Uhg. Fine.

(reads) “I once cried because my Wi-Fi went down during a heated online argument.” Tragic. Lost connection and lost the argument.

Wow.

(looks over) Oki doki. Mia?

(reads) “I practice kissing my reflection in the elevator?” Yeah… what about that?

Mirror, mirror, on the wall. That mirror never rejects me.

Witchy. That’s not confidence, that’s a cry for help with better lighting… Willow?

(reads) “I named my equestrian after my ex… and I still ride that bad boy every weekend.”

Feels good riding!

I'm sure it does. We'll be back, folks, with even more dirt!

Middle drawer elimination round, where the drawers get even dirtier… Austin! I’ll reveal each drawer’s secret one at a time—no names, no faces, just smells. You imagine it and pick the one that grosses you out the most. The owner of that dresser gets the bottom of boot. Let’s exposé, shall we?

Ou, this one's stinky. “I still sleep with my childhood stuffed animal… and… I've never washed it”. Emotional support animal-pillow… meet the cleaners. Next drawer.

(reads) “I once asked a guy to go downstairs while I was cycling.”

Oh, that's disgusting.

Well, I can assure you we're not talking about the Tour de France. Last drawer!

(reads) “I must climax every morning before I brush my teeth.” Nothing says romance like a bedroom full of dragon breath. Halitosis, anyone? Austin—which secret sends you running for the potpourri?

Definitely the stuffed animal one.

Why's that?

(shrugs) Eh… it’s just weird energy.

Fair enough. Ladies, please return to your cases.

(crosses arms) Mr. Snuggles has seen things.

We're sure he has. I'm sorry, Brooke. That's the end of the road for you. Now, pack your shit up and go.

(bossy) He dumps me over a teddy bear? Fine. But here’s the real kicker—my bottom drawer: “I'm never saying no in bed to the next guy I'm with.” Your loss, buddy.

Mia and Willow—you’re still standing, but don’t get too comfortable, because the Circle of Death is up next. Stay tuned for even… more… dirty laundry!

(whispers into hot mic) Did you see the knockers on that kicker girl in the flannel?

(raises brow/nods) Yeah, I did. They're huge.

Time for the Circle of Death! One suitor at a time—rapid fire questions and we’ll see what they have to say.

First up, we have Mia. Step into the circle and show us what you've got!

Mia—how many times have you pretended to text someone important just to look busy on a date?

Only when the conversation starts heading towards his bedroom too quick.

Interesting… Austin. What do you think about that?

Well… I'm confused with those dance moves.

(low) They tell a different story, don't they?

You said it, Hairy.

(motions to couch) Mia, have a seat?

Willow—you’re up! Step into the circle, baby.

Willow—worst place you’ve ever hooked up?

Back of a mineshaft.

Don't ask.

I won't.— Normally I would, but we're low on time and we've gotta wrap this baby up.

Alright, Willow. Demonstrate how you’d seduce Austin right now!

Darlin’, I’d ride you bareback til the sun comes up!

That’s either romantic, or a training itinerary. But, Austin, that part's for you to decide. Willow, step out. It's time for your dirtiest drawers—let’s get this show on the road!

(reads) “I keep a spreadsheet of every guy’s ‘emotional return on investment’ after three dates.” Mia… you can’t be serious.

Hey! Time is money.

Hope your stock is rising, pal. Willow… open your dirtiest drawer.

(reads) “My sister says she needs to try you before I buy you?” Whoa! Tell us more about that, Willow!

Sister said she gets first dibs.

Alright, Austin. This one's a toughy. Whose gossip is just too hot for you to handle?

Mia.— The spreadsheet thing is just a little too harsh. Willow, on the other hand… I can work with a voluptuous woman such as yourself who introduces a guy like me to her sister first.

Oh, I'm sure you could.

(tosses hair) Hate the game, don't hate the player. I won.

(buckin bronco) Yee-haw!

Alright! But hold everything though! We still have Austin’s big red chest to open. Don't go nowhere. We'll be right back!

We're back with Austin, who's about to reveal what's inside of his secret chest! Go ahead, big guy… reveal your raunchiest secret!

(reads) “I once told a girl I was allergic to commitment… then slept with her roommate the next night.”

(sheepish shrug) Technicality. I never said I was allergic to all of them.

Shoot. As long as you ain’t allergic to me and my sister at the same time. we’re good.

Looks like these two lovebirds are ready to slam all types of drawers! Let’s just hope the sister doesn't mind. Huh?

I’m gonna dig through his drawers till I find the saddle!

That’s all the Gossip for tonight, folks! Drawers opened, secrets spilled, and maybe even a little shaboinga found along the way. Next time on Gossip—the laundry gets even dirtier! Goodnight!