Act 1: Lights On
Edie (zombie), Zombro (bodybuilder zombie), and Zombae (girl zombie) stand on a quiet suburban sidewalk. Crickets chirping. Lightpost flickering. A house down the block has every light on, including party lights. Music thumps faintly. Cars are parked crooked in the driveway and on the grass.
EDIE
(staring) Hey… dat house… it got wotsa peepo.
ZOMBAE
Ooooh. Party? I wike parties. You fink dey have snacks?
Zombro's brow perks.
EDIE
(nods slow) Maybe. Wet’s go wook.
They start shambling toward the house. Zombro steps on a plastic cup and it crunches. None of them react. They stay determined as they slide their feet with their eyes fixated on all the lights coming from the thumping house.
Act 2: Knock Knock
They reach the porch. The door is open a crack. Bass leaks out. A guy in a backwards hat is standing just inside with a red cup, staring at his phone.
EDIE
(tilting head) Hey… dot bwains?
PARTY GUY
What? Bro, you guys look like shit. Oh, wait. Those are outfits! Cool! It looks so real, bro. Look at this chick! You guys even smell like real zombies. You guys here for the party or what? This is the—
ZOMBAE
(sweet) Well, we wooking fow bwains. You got any?
PARTY GUY
…What? Bwains? What is that?
The guy squints at them. He takes one step back. Edie leans forward, sniffing.
ZOMBAE
(sniffs) Mmm, you smeww fwesh.
Act 3: Inside
They eat the guy and shove what’s left of him into the coat closet. The closet door clicks shut. They turn and shamble into the living room. It’s full of people. A keg is in the corner. Someone is yelling over the music. Zombro grins at a girl taking a selfie with him.
ZOMBAE
(cuts in) Hi! You got pwitty bwains.
The girl gets a closer look and realizes that Zombae's clothes are all dirty and that she's actually decrepit. She sees the blood on Zombae's shoes.
EDIE
(pointing around) Wook at aw da bwains.
ZOMBRO
Yeh. Bwains. Me wike. Pwenty.
A guy near the speakers notices them and freezes. Someone in the back drops a cup. The music keeps going.
EDIE
(turns to Zombro) No hogging.
ZOMBAE
Yeah. Evwybody dits sum.
Act 4: Scatter
Someone finally screams. The room breaks. People shove toward the back door and the hallway. A lamp tips over. Zombro reaches for the closest person and misses by a foot.
ZOMBAE
(watching) Aww. Dey weaving.
ZOMBRO
Dey wunning. Why dey wunning?
Zombro reaches again and grabs one.
ZOMBRO
(holding) I twying.
Zombro has a firm grip on the guy’s hoodie. The guy is kicking and yelling. People keep shoving past them toward the exits. A cooler tips over and ice slides across the floor.
ZOMBRO
(straining) Me hab one. Me not wet him go.
Edie stretches out his arms and starts shambling toward them. The guy twists hard and slips out of the hoodie. He beelines for the front door. Zombro is left holding the empty jacket. He huffs a groan. More people stream past. The living room is almost empty now. Music still bumping.
ZOMBAE
Why you wet him doe?
EDIE
(looking around) Now we hab none…
They shamble across the empty living room toward the coat closet next to the front door. Cups and a single shoe on the floor remain behind. The bass keeps thumping. Outside, people are running down the street. Inside, Zombae opens the closet door. Zombro grabs the guy and throws him over his shoulder. Edie turns toward the front door.
ZOMBAE
No fair. I just want a nibbo.
ZOMBRO
(growls) Me sed no.
EDIE
We hab tu sabe him for latur.
The streetlight on the corner flickers and the crickets chirp as the undead trio shuffle-on down the street.
