Alaskan Capitol News

THERE'S PIZZA HERE [AND I'M STARVED]

Posted in: Dating App Satire · Modern Romance Critique · Online Dating Oddballs

Author: Chance Trahan

Date: 2019-02-16 15:31:06

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She said 🤡—SHE LIKES PIZZA.

When you DO match up with this magical PIZZA fairy, she ghosts you just for her pleasure.

When she finally— can't possibly avoid you anymore, she politely explains that she's just, "not ready to date anyone".

Okay, touche. So, WHY TF YOU ON TINDER THEN? 🤦‍♂️

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💬Just when you thought that, "just because you like PIZZA doesn't mean that...."

ANYONE ELSE (WITH HALF A BRAIN) NOTICING A PIZZA–REFERENCING TREND HERE?

WHAT ABOUT THE SPIDER WEBBED EYELASHES & BLUE BALLS? (SHE'S APPARENTLY ALL ABOUT THEM)

🤔💭HMM.... WE'RE JUST GONNA SWIPE LEFT.
Newsom's Lawless Lament: Pointing Fingers While the Golden State Goes Full Mad Max Schumer's Great Immigration Flip-Flop: From "No Benefits for Illegals" to "Shutdown Over Healthcare" The Fallen Watchers, Nephilim Giants, and the Shadowy Origin of Demons: Non-Human Entities in the Book of Enoch The Senate’s Sneaky Move: Handing Democrats a Blank Check for Power ICE Officer Relieved of Duties After Incident at Manhattan Courthouse Sparks Outrage AGHARTHA [AND AREA 51] Sinking the Starboard Scum: Trump's Narco Strikes Flush the Cartel Rats Straight Down the Drain Zohran Mamdani: New York’s Self-Proclaimed Commie King or Just Another Albany Oddball? ISIS-Inspired Attack on NYC Mayor Mamdani: The Foiled Bomb Plot Right at Gracie Mansion TRUMP [AND TRILLIONS] Newsom's Lawless Lament: Pointing Fingers While the Golden State Goes Full Mad Max Schumer's Great Immigration Flip-Flop: From "No Benefits for Illegals" to "Shutdown Over Healthcare" The Fallen Watchers, Nephilim Giants, and the Shadowy Origin of Demons: Non-Human Entities in the Book of Enoch The Senate’s Sneaky Move: Handing Democrats a Blank Check for Power ICE Officer Relieved of Duties After Incident at Manhattan Courthouse Sparks Outrage AGHARTHA [AND AREA 51] Sinking the Starboard Scum: Trump's Narco Strikes Flush the Cartel Rats Straight Down the Drain Zohran Mamdani: New York’s Self-Proclaimed Commie King or Just Another Albany Oddball? ISIS-Inspired Attack on NYC Mayor Mamdani: The Foiled Bomb Plot Right at Gracie Mansion TRUMP [AND TRILLIONS]
Refreshing...