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Alaskan Capitol News

THERE'S PIZZA HERE [AND I'M STARVED]

Posted in: Dating App Satire · Modern Romance Critique · Online Dating Oddballs

Author: Chance Trahan

Date: 2019-02-16 15:31:06

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She said 🤡—SHE LIKES PIZZA.

When you DO match up with this magical PIZZA fairy, she ghosts you just for her pleasure.

When she finally— can't possibly avoid you anymore, she politely explains that she's just, "not ready to date anyone".

Okay, touche. So, WHY TF YOU ON TINDER THEN? 🤦‍♂️

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đź’¬Just when you thought that, "just because you like PIZZA doesn't mean that...."

ANYONE ELSE (WITH HALF A BRAIN) NOTICING A PIZZA–REFERENCING TREND HERE?

WHAT ABOUT THE SPIDER WEBBED EYELASHES & BLUE BALLS? (SHE'S APPARENTLY ALL ABOUT THEM)

🤔💭HMM.... WE'RE JUST GONNA SWIPE LEFT.
THE INDIGENOUS TAKE A STAND FOR MISSING WOMEN [DV] The Diabolical Dame of Deception: Mary Anne Franks Exposed! THERE'S PIZZA HERE [AND I'M STARVED] I AM SO SICK OF THE NIGHTMARE [AND TWITTER] Brandon Johnson: Chicago's Assless Chaps Wearing Mayor Strikes Out in a Spectacularly Outrageous Fashion Even More: Stacey Plaskett's Glass House Meltdown—When the Epstein Whisperer Lectures America on Texting "Felons" Newsom's Naughty Nineties: From Porn Proclamations to Power Plays – California's Own Playboy-in-Chief The Great Chicago Black Excellence Parade: The Fall of Mayor Brandon Johnson! Hakeem Jeffries' Shutdown Meltdown: Time to Fire This Whining Loser MAGA Hating Deep State Muslim Threatens Tribunals—Sit Down Before We Stage an Intervention for Your Entire Woke Wankfest THE INDIGENOUS TAKE A STAND FOR MISSING WOMEN [DV] The Diabolical Dame of Deception: Mary Anne Franks Exposed! THERE'S PIZZA HERE [AND I'M STARVED] I AM SO SICK OF THE NIGHTMARE [AND TWITTER] Brandon Johnson: Chicago's Assless Chaps Wearing Mayor Strikes Out in a Spectacularly Outrageous Fashion Even More: Stacey Plaskett's Glass House Meltdown—When the Epstein Whisperer Lectures America on Texting "Felons" Newsom's Naughty Nineties: From Porn Proclamations to Power Plays – California's Own Playboy-in-Chief The Great Chicago Black Excellence Parade: The Fall of Mayor Brandon Johnson! Hakeem Jeffries' Shutdown Meltdown: Time to Fire This Whining Loser MAGA Hating Deep State Muslim Threatens Tribunals—Sit Down Before We Stage an Intervention for Your Entire Woke Wankfest