Lil Lucifer • Underworld Boosters | FUNNIES

Act 1: Minion Sleepover

After school detention… Brad jumps in his brother's car and they drive off. Lucifer and Warren walk down the sidewalk, backpacks sagging. Brad side-eyes them as he rides past.

LUCIFER

Detention was nothing! Today, my loyal minion, we shall conquer new realms!

WARREN

My house has two PS5s, Black Ops II and snacks! My mom’s at work till 8 tonight. We can play forever! My cousin gave me cheats. We'll be the best. The top of the leaderboard!

LUCIFER

Video games? Childish… (schemes) but… if it involves me being exalted on the leaderboard, then they will have no choice but to bow to my almighty power. Okay, minion… you may lead the way. But, just this once. It is I who does the leading. Got it?!

WARREN

Got it!

Warren starts skipping while they walk. He stops and turns around and pretends to shoot Lucifer like on Call of Duty. Warren makes explosion sounds. Lucifer keeps walking.

Act 2: The Dark Ritual Begins

Warren’s game room. Messy, two PS5s hooked up, glowing blacklights. Lucifer claims the big gaming chair like a throne. Both boys wearing headsets. Game loads into Black Ops II multiplayer. Lucifer is overly dramatic with every button press.

LUCIFER

Ahh! The camos must be gained through ritual sacrifice. What did you say the name of this game is?

WARREN

(nervous) Black Ops? So, for the sacrifice… you want me to just stand in the corner and let you shoot me?

LUCIFER

Sounds good. Meet me in the far corner of the map.

Lucifer camps in the corner and lays his character down between a wall and an AC unit. Warren is standing in the corner above a glowing tact insert. Gunshots. Warren dies, spawns, and then lays another tact insert. Score: Lucifer 38-3, Warren 4-41.

WARREN

How many times you want me to do this?

LUCIFER

Just keep doing it. I have to stay at the top of the leaderboard… They'll all be bowing before me by the end of the match.

Act 3: Hot Mic from Hell

Meanwhile, Brad's brother “T-Dawg” Tyler is streaming in his room. Brad is sitting nearby doing homework and half-watching the stream.

T-DAWG

(on stream) Alright chat, ranked BO2. Let’s get these dubs. And there better not be any cheaters in this lobby either or I'm gonna flip!

Tyler gets matched with Lucifer as his teammate. He immediately hears two little kids on the hot mic.

LUCIFER (voice chat)

Die again, worm! Your digital pain feeds every bit of my online idolization!

WARREN

Okay.

Lucifer shoots Warren and Warren respawns and places another tact insert.

T-DAWG

(pausing) Yo… what the—? Two squeakers boosting in the corner? Brad, get a load of this!

Tyler aims down the sights and focuses on them as he creeps up on them at an angle.

BRAD

(leaning toward camera, eyes widening) Wait… I know those voices. That’s the two idiots that got me a week of detention, bro!

Act 4: T-Dawg Meltdown

Tyler’s stream chat explodes with laughing emojis. Tyler sits up in his chair.

T-DAWG

(yelling) Boosting in my lobby? Get the hell out of here!

Tyler runs up and blasts them, and when Warren respawns in place of the tact insert, Tyler shoots him again.

LUCIFER (voice chat)

(panicking) Silence, mortal!

T-DAWG

Mortal?! Who in the fuck do you think that I am, kid? I'm old enough to be your daddy. Get off the damn game, cheating punks!

WARREN (voice chat)

Lucifer, he sounds mad… I think we should log off—

T-DAWG

Lucifer?! You named yourself after the devil and still suck at Call of Duty?! Brad, come look at these clowns!

Brad looks and waves at the cam.

LUCIFER (voice chat)

Named myself after the devil? I am the devil!

T-DAWG

Oh, please… you're just a little bitch. Get the fuck off the game, child.

LUCIFER (voice chat)

Child!? I am a dragon!

T-DAWG

A Dragon? Are you serious? Brad, you said you go to school with this kid?

BRAD

Yeah.

T-DAWG

Bet.

Warren looks scared. Lucifer is pissed and button mashing.

Act 5: Reported

Tyler starts clicking on his console remote. Lucifer and Warren are frozen in the game room.

T-DAWG

Alright chat, these two little demons just got reported for boosting. Enjoy your ban, Lucifer.

LUCIFER (voice chat)

(scoffs) You can’t do that!

T-DAWG

I just did. And as a matter of fact, the next time I pull up to pick Brad up from school, I’ll be keeping an eye out for you. Both of y’all. Better hope I don't see y'all punks walking home. I might just have to stop and say something.

Lucifer yanks his headset off in rage and looks at Warren. Warren slowly takes his headset off and looks at Lucifer.

LUCIFER

(angry) This is not over, mortal. I shall have the last laugh. Haha.

WARREN

We’re so dead, dude…

Tyler laughs as the 'Action taken on the player reported' notifications pop up. Brad smirks and laughs.

Act 6: After Action Report

Later that evening. Lucifer and Warren are sitting on the curb outside Warren’s house, looking defeated after losing their accounts. A car slowly drives by. It’s Tyler’s car. Tyler leans out the window with a big grin while Brad films on his phone.

T-DAWG

(yelling out the window) Aye Lucifer! I see you, devil boy! Keep that same energy tomorrow at school!

LUCIFER

(stands up, shaking fist) Curse you, T-Dawg!

T-DAWG

(laughing) Nah, screw you, buddy!

Tyler honks and speeds off laughing. Warren slowly looks at Lucifer.

WARREN

…We’re never playing Black Ops again, are we?

LUCIFER

(slumped with arms crossed) …Shut up, minion.