Act 1: Rooftop Recitals
On a breezy afternoon rooftop, Snider, the smirking frosted orange cat, stretches across a sun-warmed vent, tail flicking like a conductor’s baton. Below, the creatures go about their business. Snider clears his throat with theatrical flair.
SNIDER
(sings) Listen to that bulldog—barking at every shadow! Such a crude, noisy brute. (yells) A refined voice is an art, you know! Pick and choose your battle cries!
He licks a paw and adjusts his whiskers.
SNIDER
(sings) And that pig—snorting and grunting all day. Dreadful, just dreadful. (yells) One should speak with elegance, not sound like a broken squeezebox!
Snider puffs out his chest.
SNIDER
(sings) Even the squirrel’s chattering is tiresome. If only they could hear true talent… (yells) talent like mine, mind you!
A sudden gust of wind knocks an old metal drainpipe off its perch and onto the roof near Snider. It lands like a stage prop. He eyes it, then leaps atop it boastfully.
SNIDER
Aha! A grand stage for the greatest vocalist in the alley! Prepare to be amazed, commoners!
Act 2: The Echo Chamber
Snider throws back his head and lets out a long, warbling yowl meant to be majestic. The sound bounces off the nearby buildings.
SNIDER
Mee-yow, just listen to that richness. Pure velvet.
The echo comes back as a screechy, off-key caterwaul. Snider’s ears flatten.
SNIDER
…What? That can’t be right. One more time—
He yowls louder. The echo returns even worse, warbling and cracking.
SNIDER
No, no, no! That’s hideous! Who dares mock the great Snider?
The neighborhood animals gather below, all of them laughing. Snider peers over the edge, still perched on the pipe.
BULLDOG
(chuckling) Sounds like your tail got caught in a blender, Snider! What's up with that?
PIG
Hee-hee! Yeah, what's up with that, Snider? You think you're better than me?
Pig rolls around in the mud laughing.
SNIDER
(deflated) But… I’m supposed to be the elegant one.
Snider slinks backward in embarrassment, slips on the the pipe, and he rides it like a sled and crashes into the farmer's hanging laundry. Snider desperately tries to claw his way out of the clothing and shreds it. The farmer's wife comes out and swats at him with a flyswatter and a squirt bottle full of water.
SNIDER
You mangy cat! Get out of my laundry! You're ruining it!
Snider manages to escape and runs away soaking wet and embarassed. The farm animals all laugh. The raven lands on a perch wiping tears of joy away with his wing.
RAVEN
Moral of the story? Mock not the flaws of others when your own voice echoes back the very same tune.
