Mika Jasen • The Believer | FUNNIES

Act 1: Streetlight Thriller

Dusk. The streetlamp buzzing over uneven sidewalk. Mika Jasen stands in a sparkling black-and-red jacket, fedora tilted just right, single white sparkling glove glowing under the light. His boombox plays a low "Smooth Criminal" instrumental. He’s practicing a new step — a sharp toe stand into a spin.

MIKA JASEN

(soft, almost whispering) They said I was gone… but the King of Pop never really leaves. I'm still here. A-hee-hee…

Billy and Danny are racing on their bikes. They see Mika and skid to a stop.

BILLY

Michael! You’re still here! We told our parents everything and they didn't even want to listen!

MIKA JASEN

(shocked) Oh, no.

DANNY

Yeah! They sent us to bed early, and I got grounded for drawing that secret lab you showed us on the fridge. But I still believe you!

MIKA JASEN

(eyes lighting up) You do? After everything? Wow. Kids these days… you really make-a me smile. (kicks) Ah-chamone! (spins, stops, tilts his fedora) Hoo!

Act 2: The Return

Mika does a moonwalk circle around the boys, pointing at them and making a fist with his lips crunched. The streetlight flickers to the rhythm. Their Dad walks his dog around the corner and freezes.

DAD

You again? I told you to stay away from my kids!

MIKA JASEN

(stops mid-moonwalk, hands up) Whoa-whoa-whoa, easy mister. I’m not here to cause any kind of trouble. I’m here to show them the light… literally.

Mika snaps his fingers, twists his hips and feet. The sidewalk panels begin to glow softly.

MIKA JASEN

See that? That’s real. Not CGI. Not deepfake. That’s me fighting the darkness one step at a time. They want us all asleep… but I woke these kids up.

DAD

(hands on hips) Look, “Mika.” My kids told me some wild story about a lab experimenting on children. You expect me to believe that the real Michael Jackson is out here running around the suburbs fighting conspiracies in 2026? He's dead.

MIKA JASEN

(gasps) I'm not dead! That's what they want you to believe! (voice cracking, sincere) I expect you to look at me. And really look. They took my name, my face, my legacy… turned it into a cartoon so nobody would listen. They turned me white and said I diddle kids. I ain't Diddy! — They turned me white, man! White!

DAD

Okay, let's say you're the real Michael Jackson. How are you gonna prove it?

MIKA JASEN

(looks away, laughs) Prove it? You want proof? (sharply looks at him) Watch this!

Act 3: Smooth Moves

Mika turns the boombox up, feels the beat. Smooth Criminal kicks harder. He launches spins, kicks, pelvic thrusts, the lean, everything. The glowing sidewalk lights pulse brighter with each beat. Billy and Danny throw down their bikes and join in on the dancing.

MIKA JASEN

(mid-spin) Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Mmm mm, mmm mm. A smooth criminal!

Even the dog is jumping around. Their dad's stern face softens slightly as he looks at his dog getting excited and his kids dancing. Mika does his sharp toe stand into a spin and ends in a dramatic freeze-frame pose, breathing hard, sweat on his brow.

DAD

…Alright. That was… (nods) pretty damn good. But one dance doesn’t prove you’re Michael Jackson. You better have one heck of a backstory to go along with those moves.

MIKA JASEN

(soft smile, looks down, removes fedora) Remember when I did that Pepsi commercial?

DAD

When your hair caught on fire?

MIKA JASEN

That's the one.

DAD

Yeah, I remember that. I mean, who wouldn't?

MIKA JASEN

You'd be surprised.

DAD

What about it?

MIKA JASEN

That's when this all started. Next thing you know, you got this fake Michael Jackson running around and stealing my moves! It was pathetic, man!

DAD

Okay, let's say I believe you. Now what?

The kids look shocked. Mika is speechless. The dog is panting.

Act 4: One More Believer

The Dad sighs, looks at his excited sons, his dog panting, then back at Mika. He slowly extends a hand.

DAD

Name’s Rick. And I'm not saying I believe you. I'm just saying… you’re not exactly out here hurting anybody. And the boys can’t stop talking about you. It's just… ever since the Pepsi commercial?

MIKA JASEN

(shakes his hand) Nice to meet you, mister Rick. Look, the lab is real. I’ve seen things.

Mika frowns, drops to his knees, face in hands, devastated. Danny walks up and puts his hand on Mika's back. The dog licks Mika's face.

DANNY

We believe you, Michael.

MIKA JASEN

(looks up, voice gentle) I know you do, kids. (pets the dog)

Act 5: Into the Groove

DAD

I can tell my kids really like you. My dog likes you too. And even I'm starting to believe you.

BILLY

(smacks Danny) Dude!

DANNY

Yes! Score!

MIKA JASEN

I can show you the lab.

Rick's face drains, eyes wide. Mika picks up his boombox as the instrumental fades into “Man in the Mirror.” He starts walking down the sidewalk.

MIKA JASEN

Chamone, y'all!

Billy runs over and grabs his bike. Danny takes off towards his.

DANNY

Chamone, dad!

The dog barks and tugs at the leash. Rick exhales and starts walking.

DAD

(reluctant) Oh, alright. Wait up, boys!

Rick jogs to catch up.