Oh—my—gawd, finally a normal human.

A normal human?

Yeah. The last guy? A total disaster movie.

A disaster movie, huh?

Yeah. He showed up three hours late, no text, no nothing. Food was ice cold, and he was like... arguing with my Ring camera that I'm some stupid bitch. Do I look like a stupid bitch to you?

You look pretty normal to me.

(gesturing wildly) See? That's what I said!

Why would he go and say a thing like that?.

Cuz, he's a stupid dick! He even tripped on my welcome mat, spilled half the sushi on my door, and even blamed my cat for it.

Your cat?

Yeah. And I don't even own a cat. And get this… he even threatened to report me to the app company for (mocks) "emotional damages."

(scrunches face, palms up) ...What the hell? You can't be serious.

Oh, I'm serious. That jerk even left a one-star review on me saying my vibes were "mid" and my welcome mat was "oppressive." Thank you for not being a walking war crime. You're like... delivery Jesus or something.

Eh, thanks.

Anyway, five stars. I'm going back to sleep.

You have a great rest of your night.

you too!

Nah, this is mine. App glitched or whatever. Gimme the order!

I can't just give you the order. You're not even the driver for this ticket.

Uh... pretty sure this is my order. Maybe it was cancelled and reassigned?

(convinced) Reassigned? No way. I just... I'm the driver for this call.

Says here that I'm the driver. What's your app say?

Well…

Well?

I'm not assigned. But, I just was. I'm here for that exact order.

Not anymore you're not.

Take it up with support.

(voice cracking) Uh... hi. I have a delivery?

(softly) Thanks. You can just... set it right here.

(speechless) Yep. Have a great night. Enjoy the food.

Zero bucks? No tip?! Oh, man…

Maybe I should've just taken the hint. Nah, I did the right thing. Oh well. Another day, another dollar... and a job well done. Well, sort of... I guess.