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Carni Doody • Lobby Purge

Carni Doody • Lobby Purge

February 23, 2026

Act 1: Pre-Match Purge
Dark bedroom with streamer lighting. Tyler "T-Dawg" (hoodie, headset mic down, screen glaring) loads into a Carni Doody lobby. He cracks his knuckles.
T-DAWG

Welcome back to the greatest show on Earth, where I spray em and slay em. Tonight, we're launching into Carni Doody Multiplayer. This should be fun!

The map voting begins. Blowtown VS Dooktown. Everybody votes Dooktown.
T-DAWG (voice chat, aggressive)

Alright, Dooktown. Better not be no cheaters. Cuz, cheaters will get reported. Straight up. I bang clips. My people love it.

Players back out. Names disappear from the list: CoDKing, SweatyTryhard420, CronusWangy, XiMmieMouse. Lobby drops from 12 to 6 in mere seconds.
T-DAWG

(smirking, leans back) Yeah… that's what I thought. Cowards. Come on. Let's get this dub, team.

RANDOM LOBBY GUY (voice chat)

Bro scared the whole squad away.

T-DAWG

Good…

Act 2: The Infiltration
Match starts. T-Dawg pops off—headshots, teabags campers. Scoreboard shows him 8-1 early. Chat is hyped. His squad is playing the objective strong and they're winning.
T-DAWG

Stay locked in, boys. 2 on B!

T-Dawg keeps slaying—his score climbs to 12-2. Then it starts… He gets hit through walls, one-tapped by the invisible man, moon-jumped on and shot from impossible angles.
T-DAWG

Oh bullshit! He magically knew I was there? What is it with this s*it?

Next death: Enemy instantly lasers him from across map that wasn't even looking his direction.
T-DAWG

What is this movement? Really?

T-DAWG'S CHAT

No way!

Enemy dives into the scene while spraying perfect headshots on T-Dawg's entire team. He checks leaderboard. He's 12-10.
T-DAWG'S CHAT

Clip that!

T-Dawg notices the chat and then looks at the leaderboard.
T-DAWG

Clip that? Wait… StreamSniper, XIM_Warrior, CronusDemon, OverlayPete, iuseaimbot?! Ahh! Stream snipers. Man…

T-Dawg immediately starts spamming cheater reports. His character gets killed by a spawn camper.
T-DAWG

And this is exactly why I'm reporting you.

Act 3: Post-Match
Post-game lobby. T-Dawg also reports his own teammates who all went suspiciously positive. Voice chat ignites.
T-DAWG

Say goodbye to your accounts, losers.

AIMGOD (smug)

You went 14-24.

T-DAWG

And? You cheated.

AIMGOD (smug)

You went 14 and 24.

T-DAWG

What… are you stuck on stupid over there? Is that all you're gonna say? (mocks) 'YoU wEnT 24 aNd 14. YoU wEnT 24 aNd 14. Dert!'

T-Dawg's head dances around while he mocks.
T-DAWG

Seriously. Do you think that I actually care? I've been playing this game for 18 years. This is not my first ro-de-o, Haus.

T-Dawg smiles and waits… Crickets.
T-DAWG

Oh, and I noticed you're silent, too. I mean, I wouldn't say anything back to me either after getting called out so hard. You got reported. Say goodbye to your accounts.

AIMGOD (smug)

Oh, my God. He's still going?

T-DAWG

Yeah I'm still going. As a matter of fact, I'm still here waiting for you to say something intelligent. But, I get the feeling that I'd be waiting around all day… Imagine that.

Two devs in hoodies hover over a monitor showing T-Dawg's report tickets.
DEV 1

Yo… T-Dawg just reported the ENTIRE lobby.

DEV 2

The entire lobby?

DEV 1

Yes. And before you ask, Tiffany's watching his stream again and she's in there dying laughing at him roasting… everyone.

Tiffany walks in watching her phone.
T-DAWG

Boy, I got all day. What you trying to say, cheater?

Tiffany laughs. Dev 2 looks over at Dev 1 and smirks.
DEV 2

He's killing it.

Notification pops on T-Dawg's screen: "We've taken action against the players reported."
T-DAWG

See, chat? I told y'all. Look at 'em now. Ban wave, baby! That's what you get, 'AimGod'. Fricken' herb.

Fade out on T-Dawg smiling on stream.
T-DAWG

Mission successful, chat.

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