Welcome back to Schmidiotest! Where the questions are easy, the answers are not, and your dignity is optional! Bronx Bombers versus Whispering Willows! First round: Thirty seconds on the clock… Find the one that’s “pair”fect!

Willows, you locked in first. Luna, talk to me.

The pears! Because they’re on the table and they’re pair… wait, pear-fect? Like the fruit?

Oof. Adorable, but tragically wrong. Over to the Bombers.

I picked the parrot.

…Why?

’Cause it repeats everything, so it’s pair-fect at copying!

Wrong again! The pair of socks is “pair”fect — p-a-i-r. Homophones, people! You both just lost to some dirty laundry. I'd ask how that feels, but instead, let’s crank up the heat with the next Schmidiotest mind-melter!

Teams, you have thirty seconds… And, go!

Bombers… Russ, why the reel?

Fishing reel, man. You gotta have sole when you’re out there battling the big one.

Creative, but no. Your answer bites the big one. Going over here. Let’s see what the Willows chose.

Luna, my willow whisperer… you picked the glowing soul? Explain your genius to the classroom.

Because everyone needs a little bit of soul, and it’s the only one that’s actually got any. Right?

Wrong. The shoe on the cobbler’s bench has sole, s-o-l-e. You got outsmarted by some sneakers. I’m starting to think the props are smarter than both teams.

Whoa, easy there, Bronxy. I like my ribs right where they are. On second thought, great job everyone! You’ve all proven that when it comes to homophones… you’re all equally terrible.

That’s Schmidiotest, folks! Where bad puns win, good choices lose, and I somehow survive another episode. We're cutting to commercial! Be right back.

Welcome back to Schmidiotest, folks! We’re down to the final bonus round with our last standing contestants. Luna, you’ve made it this far… somehow. Now it’s all on you and your partner Laurie to win the big money. If both answer correctly, your team wins $10,000. But, if only one of you answers correctly, you'll only walk out of here win an additional $1,000. Only fourty seconds on the clock. Try to answer quick so Laurie has enough time, or you'll run out of both time, and money! Ready?

Let's get this over with.

Fair enough. Find the one that’s truly “knot” what it seems!

Luna, you locked in on the notebook. Why?

Because it’s full of notes, so it’s… knot what it seems?

Okay. Stand over there. Bring out Laurie!

Laurie, you ready?

Yeah, I know the rules. Let's go!

You know the rules?

Yeah, Dweeb. Let's go.

Alright, no argument there. Your teammate left you 25 seconds on the clock.

Plenty of time.

Hey, that's my line. Who's running the show here?

Fine. Your show, your rules. And, go!

Laurie, you chose nothing. What was your strategy?

I don't know, but I'm guessing it didn't pay off.

No, it did not pay off. And if you would have answered that quickly, you two might have actually gotten one right. Well, besides the one you got right earlier. You two are walking out of here with 100 dollars! But hey, at least you don't leave here empty handed… but, you do have to leave, because the show's over. Anyway, thanks for playing!

That's all the time we have for today. Join us next time on Schmidiotest!

So, Luna… why don’t you come back to my place after the show? I’ve got some games of my own we could play.