Warning: The stunts performed in this show are for entertainment purposes only and are filmed by untrained professionals. Don't try this at home.
Act 1: Bunn's Rocket Ride
Downtown plaza at noon. Johnny Coxville struts in wearing Hawaiian shorts, open button-up shirt, cheesy grin.
JOHNNY COXVILLE
This here's the broken helicopter. And, this is Wackass… Full send, Bunns!
Ryan is strapped into the sidecar of a scooter that Steve-E is driving.
RYAN BUNN
Light this baby! Fire it up!
Steve-E is wearing leotard cut-offs, revs the engine up, then blasts off with Ryan in tow. The scooter screeches and screams across the plaza. Steve-E hits the ramp and launches him and Ryan 25 feet in the air, spinning around wildly.
RYAN BUNN
Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
They slam back down to Earth and skid out. Ryan climbs up and falls out of the sidecar puking.
JOHNNY COXVILLE
Now that's how you start a Wackass episode!
Act 2: The Baby Heist
Busy city block. Random people are minding their own business. Tee Man, dressed as a chimpanzee, books it full-speed down the sidewalk clutching a naked Barbie doll. Down the street, Weston Macy waddles down the sidewalk in a giant diaper, a bib that says "Mommy's Little Psycho," a newborn cap, and an oversized pacifier on a string.
TEE MAN
Ooh ooh, ah ah! My baby now!
WESTON MACY
Stop him! Stop him! He stole my baby! He stole my baby!
Yoga moms are slackjawed and covering their mouth.
YOGA MOM
Oh… is that a man-baby chasing a monkey?!
They round the corner – Construction crew eating lunch.
TEE MAN
Ooh ooh, ah ah! My baby!
WESTON MACY
Stop him! Stop him! That's my baby! He stole my dolly! Give her back! She's mine!
CONSTRUCTION WORKER
Haha, What the?
Weston doubles over, out of breath.
WESTON MACY (as giant baby)
(gasping) Give her back! (gaspin) She's mine!
Weston starts running again. They round the corner – elderly women are playing cards.
TEE MAN
Ooh, ah ah! My baby!
WESTON MACY
My baby! He stole my baby! Somebody get that monkey!
Weston catches a second wind and is running at full speed.
They round the corner – Influencer teens are filming.
TEEN
Alright! We are going viral in 3…2…
Weston and Tee Man go scorching by. The teens move their hair out of their faces in disbelief,
WESTON MACY
Stop that mother f*cker! He stole my dolly! That's my baby!
TEEN 2
Did you just see that? Bro… you didn't even hit record!
Weston and Tee Man keep running and disappear from the scene.
Act 3: Wings of Gold
Massive dirt ramps, 2 school buses parked parallel with a 40-foot gap between. The whole crew is arguing while Cram (shirtless, wearing shorts and a backwards hat) warms up by doing donuts on a dirtbike.
JOHNNY COXVILLE
This is the Wingtop Flammy!
RYAN BUNN
What's the Wingtop Flammy?
Cram slides up to them on the bike, throwing dirt everywhere. Johnny and Ryan wipe their face.
CRAM
It’s a superstunt, bro! You hit the ramp, launch over the buses, then at the peak… you do a full backflip while shaking a Martini. Then… you land in a massive pile of memory foam matresses… at least I hope.
RYAN BUNN
This is insane.
Steve-E laughs. Everybody else busts out laughing.
WESTON MACY
Nah, it’s a Wingtop Flammy. And I get to sip the Martini. You guys made me run… I hate running.
TEE MAN
Wrong. The real Wingtop Flammy includes mooning the camera mid-flip.
TEE MAN
I'm the one who invented it.
Cram just shrugs, revs the bike, throws dirt and sends. He launches off the massive ramp like a rocket. At the absolute peak, he tucks into a wild backflip, pulls out the shaker and gives the Martini a shake.
Cram manages to rotate. He tucks the martini shaker under his arm, moons the camera, then lands perfectly on the mattresses in a cloud of dirt. The crew loses their minds—running, screaming, high-fiving, and jumping on him in celebration.
JOHNNY COXVILLE
He actually did it! Cram just invented the most unnecessary, ass-out stunt in Wackass history!
Weston points up, brow cocked.
WESTON MACY
With flare! Now, where's my martini?
Tee-man puts his hand on his chest.
Zoom out on the crew piling on Cram while the dirt settles.
